Navigating Life's Unexpected Turns: A Journey of Self-Discovery Through Illness and Mindfulness

An Unenviable Birthday

Chhavi begins by setting the scene on her 25th birthday in Paris. What should have been a joyous occasion was instead spent in a tiny room, grappling with intense pain and isolation. This marked the onset of a rare disorder, a medical mystery that even science struggled to fully understand. It was, in her words, the first 'invitation letter' to a course she didn't realize she was enrolling in: a journey inward.

Resistance and Resilience

Initially, Chhavi resisted this invitation, embodying the spirit of a 'strong independent woman.' She fought back through sheer willpower, rigorous exercise, medication, and a commitment to her career, landing a job with Deloitte Consulting. For a time, life seemed back on track, but fate had other plans.

A Second Wake-Up Call

As Chhavi approached her 30th birthday, she found herself once again facing a health crisis, this time battling long COVID while tethered to an oxygen tank. Despite this, she persevered, marrying shortly after relearning to walk. Yet, the relentless battle for survival had taken its toll, leaving her depleted and her nervous system compromised. The 'strong independent voice' that had once guided her fell silent.

Surrender and Self-Discovery

It was during this period of profound emptiness that Chhavi finally heeded the faint inner voice of intuition. She embarked on a 'masters of journeying within,' a path of unstructured learning and self-exploration. This began with leaving her job, a decision that baffled many, and entering a nomadic phase of travel and experimentation.

A Nomadic Phase

Chhavi immersed herself in diverse experiences, from living in monasteries to attending workshops on mud making and sound healing. She sang at open mics, sold paintings, and connected with different communities. Slowly, she began to heal, rediscovering her voice and regulating her anxiety and depression.

Redefining Happiness and Identity

Through this journey, Chhavi's definition of happiness evolved. She found joy in slow mornings, deeper conversations, and community living, rather than material possessions or career achievements. Her identity shifted from a 'strong independent' one to an 'authentic and interdependent' one, marked by vulnerability and a willingness to ask for help.

The Next Level: Vipassana Meditation

Despite her progress, a sense of restlessness remained, prompting Chhavi to seek deeper understanding. She found herself drawn to a village in Maharashtra, surrounded by long-term meditators. Despite a previous negative experience with Vipassana, she decided to give it another try, promising herself sincerity and commitment.

The Power of Observation

To her surprise, Vipassana offered Chhavi a framework for observing her thoughts and emotions without reaction. She realized how little control she had over her mind and began to train it like a muscle. Through consistent practice, she gained clarity, improved her decision-making, and reclaimed her sense of choice.

Key Principles: Mindfulness, Impermanence, and Equanimity

Chhavi shares three key principles that have guided her journey: mindfulness, impermanence, and equanimity. Mindfulness involves tuning into the body and being present in the moment, while impermanence acknowledges that things are constantly changing. Equanimity is maintaining balance and not being overly affected by emotions.

A Byproduct of Practice: Kindness

A surprising side effect of these practices was an increased sense of kindness towards others. Chhavi realized that everyone is fighting their own battles and that the most meaningful response is love and compassion.

An Ongoing Journey

Chhavi emphasizes that her journey is a work in progress. Life remains messy, with its share of emotional challenges and dilemmas. However, she now possesses the tools to handle these challenges with greater awareness and intention. She recognizes that the only thing she can truly control is herself.

Invitation Letters

Chhavi concludes by encouraging listeners to pay attention to their own 'invitation letters' – those subtle signs of discomfort or restlessness that signal a need for change or self-reflection. She hopes that by listening sooner, we can embark on our own journeys of self-discovery and live more authentic, fulfilling lives.

Chhavi's story reminds us that it is imperative to turn inward, listen to our intuition, and embrace the journey of self-discovery. It's a journey that may not always be easy, but one that is ultimately worth taking.