Wydra

The dusty arena of BeamNG.drive recently became the staging ground for a mechanical massacre known as Cannon Bulldog. This homebrew game mode is a test of survival: drivers must traverse a lethal corridor while players at the perimeter aim heavy artillery. In this specific iteration, the rules shifted from standard ballistic warfare into a surrealist nightmare. Every time a driver falls, they respawn as a cannon, but with a twist—the artillery scales to random sizes. This structural variance transforms the game from a predictable shooting gallery into a complex physics puzzle where size determines every tactical advantage and technical failure. Ballistic scaling and the physics of mass When a player transitions from driver to Cannon, the randomized scaling dictates their entire strategy. A massive cannon possesses overwhelming kinetic energy, firing balls that can flatten a vehicle or rip a fuel tank out with a single glancing blow. However, the trade-off is a crippling lack of maneuverability. In the BeamNG.drive engine, mass is not just a visual variable; it affects the torque required to pivot the weapon. These 'giga-cannons' turn with agonizing slowness, making it nearly impossible to lead a fast-moving target like Stevie's agile Wydra. Conversely, the 'tiny cannons' appear non-threatening until their utility is realized through precision. While a miniature cannonball lacks the sheer force to crush a chassis, it excels at surgical strikes. A small shot to a rear tire or a fuel line can immobilize a car just as effectively as a heavy bombardment. These smaller units pivot almost instantly, allowing players to track erratic drivers who rely on sudden lane changes. The real danger emerges when the two sizes coordinate: small cannons spin the target out, and the heavy artillery delivers the finishing blow while the car is beached. The resilience of the off-road chassis As the rounds progressed, a clear hierarchy of vehicle durability emerged. While high-speed asphalt cars often disintegrated upon first contact, off-road builds like the Dune Kicker and Hirochi Arata showcased the necessity of a rugged frame. The Hirochi Sunburst driven by Mera suffered a catastrophic 'one-hit KO,' proving that standard sedan architecture cannot withstand the localized pressure of a cannonball strike. Survival in Cannon Bulldog is less about avoiding damage and more about managing its location. A direct hit to the door might buckle the bodywork into a 'crab-like' stance, but as long as the drive shaft remains intact, the run continues. We witnessed vehicles losing their entire body shells, stripped down to the bare roll cage and engine, yet still limping across the finish line. The Nissan Patrol-style truck demonstrated this best, absorbing multiple impacts and continuing as a mangled heap of metal. In this mode, aesthetics are the first casualty; if the wheels still turn, you are still in the hunt. Desync and the ghost in the machine Technically, the chaos is compounded by the limitations of multiplayer synchronization. In a high-speed physics simulation, what one player sees as a clean miss might be a devastating hit on the server's backend. This 'desync' creates moments of phantom damage where a vehicle suddenly loses fuel or a wheel without a visible impact. During the climax of the session, Mika appeared to navigate through a barrage of fire that would have leveled a small building. While it looked like a miracle on screen, it was likely the result of the engine struggling to reconcile the location of randomized cannonballs across different client viewpoints. These technical hiccups don't detract from the experience; they add a layer of unpredictability that rewards the most persistent players. When Mika eventually secured a victory with a nearly unrecognizable Cherrier Vivace (referred to as the Dynamo in this spec), it was a testament to the fact that in BeamNG, the simulation's complexity is its own form of storytelling. The car wasn't just 'damaged'—it had been reshaped by the physics of the environment into something entirely new. Tactical infighting and the final stand As the driver pool thins, the number of cannons grows, turning the arena into a crossfire zone. Interestingly, the cannons often became their own worst enemies. The kickback from a large-scale cannon is enough to shove it backward or even flip it if the ground is uneven. We saw cannons firing into one another, creating a secondary layer of 'infighting' that the remaining drivers could exploit. If you can bait a cannon into firing at the wrong moment, its own recoil might prevent it from lining up a second shot. In the final stretch, the game transcends simple racing. It becomes a psychological duel. Drivers must predict which cannon is currently reloading and which player has the itchy trigger finger. The 'Crabulon' effect—where a vehicle is so damaged it only moves sideways—becomes a legitimate, albeit unintentional, dodging mechanic. A car that doesn't drive straight is, by definition, harder to lead. By the time the session ended, the arena was littered with the 'skeletons' of failed runs, proving that in the world of randomized artillery, the only way to win is to be the last piece of scrap metal still moving.