Monte Cristo

The morning sun hits the pavement in Derby as the reality of a new business venture sets in. Transitioning from the conceptual phase to the practical grind of a restaurant opening requires a specific kind of energy—a mix of chaotic problem-solving and local networking. The goal is simple but daunting: prepare for the launch of Jerk Slow, a new food venture, while simultaneously curating a personal cigar lounge that mirrors the aesthetic of high-end, traditional retreats. The day begins not with a boardroom meeting, but with a search for a decent breakfast cob and a burning curiosity about whether a football can be kicked through car windows. It is the life of a creator where every task, no matter how small, fuels the larger narrative of growth. Culinary Quests and the Local Greasy Spoon Before tackling the logistics of bulk produce, the immediate need for fuel takes precedence. Brenda's stands as a local institution, a proper greasy spoon cafe that challenges the modern trend of sanitized brunch spots. This is a place where high-vis jackets are the unofficial uniform and the menu features a "Big Breakfast Challenge" that includes everything from black pudding to fish fingers. While the challenge remains for another day, the standard bacon, egg, and black pudding cob serves as a baseline for Derby's breakfast scene. Rating the experience an 8.2, the focus shifts from personal hunger to the massive logistical hurdle of sourcing 200 portions of food for the upcoming Saturday launch. Navigating the Epicenter of Normington Road Normington Road represents the multicultural heart of the city, a vibrant and sometimes unpredictable stretch where ninety-five different languages hum through the air. It is a place of history and high-stakes social interactions, including past run-ins with disgruntled takeaway owners like the proprietor of Ules Chinese. The mission here is Pack Foods, a market known for fresh produce. Sourcing sweet potatoes in bulk sounds straightforward until you are faced with the reality of individual pricing versus trade weight. At nearly a pound per potato, the math for a commercial kitchen quickly becomes unsustainable. This realization forces a pivot toward professional suppliers, highlighting the steep learning curve of moving from home cooking to professional catering. The Zest Factor and Commercial Scaling Efficiency often requires a trade account, but a recommendation leads to Zest, a food supplier that allows for immediate, bulk purchases without the bureaucratic hurdles of traditional trade setups. Stepping into a massive warehouse changes the perspective of the operation entirely. Seeing the produce in fat sacks rather than individual bins clarifies the scale of the task. However, scaling a business also requires precise portion control. A quick recalculation reveals that 60 kilos of potatoes would be a massive over-estimation for 200 portions of pork. Settling on 30 kilos, the logistical puzzle pieces begin to fit, though the physical labor of hauling these sacks into a small Fiat Panda remains a constant challenge. Inspiration from The Cigar Lounge A short drive away, the industrial estates of Derby hide a surprising sanctuary: The Cigar Lounge. This space serves as the blueprint for a personal project, blending the rugged charm of a hunter's cabin with the refined atmosphere of a private club. The walls are lined with taxidermy, including a zebra and various skulls, creating an immersive, old-world vibe. Engaging with the owner reveals the depth of the cigar world—a journey of flavors, ring gauges, and easy draws. Choosing a selection of Monte Cristo and Romeo y Julieta cigars is an investment in the lounge's identity, proving that a truly curated space requires more than just furniture; it requires the right inventory and a respect for the craft. The Barrel and the Panda's Final Test The day concludes at the Woodlands Pub, where a final piece of the lounge puzzle awaits: a massive wooden barrel. Gifted by local artist Daryl (also known as Soap Spray), the barrel represents the rustic aesthetic essential for the cigar room. Fitting a full-sized barrel into a Fiat Panda already laden with sacks of sweet potatoes seems impossible to onlookers. Yet, with a bit of brute force and the car's surprising interior capacity, the task is completed. This final victory, celebrated with a Guinness, underscores the central theme of the day: business and personal projects are not built on perfect plans, but on the ability to scramble, adapt, and fit the impossible into the available space.