Duct tape

The quest for aquatic dominance began not with a sleek blueprint or a naval architect, but with a restless night. Mashtag Brady stood amidst the skeletal remains of a construction project, watching his father, the chief architect of the operation, explain a middle-of-the-night epiphany. The air carried that particular mixture of sawdust and blind optimism. They were deep into the assembly of a homemade vessel intended for an upcoming race, but the design had already pivoted. Instead of a simple platform, they were now committed to an ambitious, if slightly terrifying, propulsion system: a human-sized hamster wheel. The scene was a chaotic workshop of ambition, where the distance between a stroke of genius and a sinking disaster was measured in centimeters of water displacement. Reinventing the wheel with timber and glue Construction began with a trip to the local hardware store to replicate the previous day's purchases. The engineering challenge centered on the propulsion wheel, a structure that required more than just cutting a circle out of a flat board. Mashtag Brady and his father opted for a laminated approach, meticulously numbering and layering timber strips in a brickwork pattern to create a double-thick, rigid rim. This wasn't just about aesthetics; it was a desperate bid for structural integrity. The father, confident in his mathematical displacement theories, insisted that the raft would only sink halfway down the barrels once the crew boarded. However, the gap between theory and reality began to widen as soon as they attempted to join the buoyancy components. A failed attempt to use an epoxy resin that was supposed to "glue like steel" left the team scrambling. When the chemical seal fractured, they turned to the ultimate tool of the desperate builder: duct tape. Massive quantities of silver adhesive became the primary binding agent, a decision that prompted Mashtag Brady to joke that the vessel was being held together by nothing more than prayers and sticky plastic. This transition from high-end chemical bonding to basic hardware store tape marked a significant shift in the project's philosophy, moving from engineering to sheer improvisation. Side quests in flamethrowers and gold mining While waiting for various adhesives to set, the energy of the build spilled over into a series of eccentric side projects. Mashtag Brady attempted to recreate a viral stunt involving a birthday cake and powdered sugar. The goal was simple but dangerous: create a mouth-powered flamethrower. By blowing a cloud of icing sugar over lit candles, he successfully produced a massive, dramatic fireball that scorched the cake and momentarily transformed the workshop into a pyrotechnic display. This diversion, while seemingly random, highlighted the chaotic, trial-and-error spirit that defined the entire raft-building endeavor. Between bouts of construction, the team also engaged in a "mining" challenge, smashing open clay blocks in search of gold or diamonds. This exercise in anticipation mirrored the raft build itself—a lot of hard work and debris in hopes of finding something valuable. Though the "mining" yielded little more than rose crystals and disappointment, it served as a necessary break from the mounting pressure of the build. These moments of levity were punctuated by a high-stakes pool challenge, where Mashtag Brady attempted to run a table of seven balls to win a £100 prize for a subscriber, emphasizing his desire to constantly raise the stakes of his daily life. Scouting the banks of the River Dove As the physical raft took shape, the team faced a new logistical hurdle: finding a place to actually put it in the water. The reconnaissance mission took them through the English countryside, specifically toward Tutbury and Hatton. What looked like easy access on a map turned into a maze of padlocked gates, "No Fishing" signs, and steep embankments. Mashtag Brady navigated the frustrations of public access, scouting locations that wouldn't result in prosecution by local bailiffs or angry farmers. Eventually, they discovered a potential launch site near an old rail line, though the water appeared dangerously shallow. The father’s water displacement math suggested they needed at least 300mm of depth, but the river at Tutbury seemed to offer only millimeters in some sections. This environmental reality check added a layer of tension to the project. They weren't just building a boat; they were building a boat for a very specific, unpredictable environment. The realization that they might have to carry a 50-kilogram timber frame across a sheep-filled field just to find deep water began to weigh on the crew as much as the raft itself. The moment of buoyancy on the water The narrative reached its climax when the team finally arrived at a muddy riverbank with the raft strapped to a trailer. The assembly was precarious; during the journey, several barrels had already shifted, testing the limits of the duct tape. With the help of team members like Armani and Ben, they gingerly slid the 50kg beast into the current. The air was thick with the scent of stagnant water and the very real possibility of immediate sinking. As the wood hit the water, there was a collective breath-hold. Miraculously, it floated. One by one, the crew climbed aboard, testing the limits of the father's displacement theory. As five grown men stood on the deck, the timber frame dipped just to the waterline, exactly as predicted. Despite the duct tape, the loose screws, and the makeshift engineering, the vessel remained stable. They even performed a stress test, jumping in unison to see if the barrels would kick out. The raft held. This successful launch represented more than just a buoyancy victory; it was a validation of their haphazard process. They had transformed a pile of hardware store supplies into a functional, if ugly, aquatic machine, ready for the next stage of its evolution: the installation of the hamster wheel. Lessons in resilience and duct tape The day’s journey served as a vivid reminder that the path to a finished product is rarely linear. The project moved from a rigid design to a fluid, tape-based construction, surviving multiple failures before finding success on the water. The primary takeaway was the value of "good enough" engineering; while the raft lacked the polish of a professional build, its functionality was undeniable. For Mashtag Brady, the experience reinforced the idea that success often comes from the willingness to get wet, get dirty, and ignore the skeptics while your boat is literally taped together. The next challenge—making the wheel actually turn—would require even more creative problem-solving, but for one afternoon on the river, the team was untouchable.