Debra Soh

The Unseen Impact of a Sexless Generation The cultural landscape is shifting beneath our feet, and the data suggests we are in the midst of a profound behavioral contraction. Dr. Debra Soh, a neuroscientist and sex researcher, warns that the "sex recession" is no longer a fringe theory but a statistically documented reality. While millennials and Gen Z are often viewed as the most sexually liberated cohorts in history, the numbers tell a story of isolation. One in three men between the ages of 18 and 24 reported zero sexual activity in the past year. This isn't just a lack of physical intimacy; it represents a fundamental breakdown in human connection, emotional literacy, and community building. This decline is not restricted to single individuals. Even within marriages, the frequency of sex has plummeted since the 1990s. We are witnessing a redistribution of human energy—from partnered, physical interaction toward solo, screen-mediated consumption. The implications for mental health, fertility, and societal stability are immense. When young people in their biological prime opt out of the most basic form of human bonding, we must ask what is filling that void. The answer, it seems, lies in a cocktail of technological surrogates, hormonal disruptions, and a growing adversarial relationship between the sexes. Technological Surrogates and the Male Sedation Hypothesis Why are young men, who are biologically at their peak of sexual drive, retreating from the dating market? The "male sedation hypothesis" suggests that modern technology provides a low-effort, high-reward proxy for status-seeking and mate-seeking behaviors. Pornography, video games, and social media offer a simulated version of the rewards that used to require social competence, risk-taking, and physical effort. When a man can achieve a neurochemical release through a screen, the motivation to endure the "hassle" of a date—the potential rejection, the financial cost, and the emotional vulnerability—evaporates. Debra Soh notes that the neuroscience of porn use is particularly telling. While not technically classified as an addiction in all clinical circles, its effect on the brain’s reward system is undeniable. It functions as a potent coping mechanism for anxiety and procrastination. For a generation that reports record levels of mental health struggles, these digital outlets act as a form of self-soothing. However, this sedation comes at a high price: a general sense of lethargy and a diminished drive to excel in the real world. If you can "win" in a video game or achieve sexual gratification through OnlyFans, the biological pressure to build a life worthy of a partner is significantly lessened. Hypergamy and the Socioeconomic Imbalance The dating market is currently plagued by what can be called the "tall girl problem." As women increasingly outperform men in higher education and entry-level earnings, the pool of men they consider "suitable" for long-term partnership shrinks. Hypergamy—the evolutionary tendency for women to pair with men of equal or higher status—has collided with a reality where women hold the socioeconomic high ground. This creates a bottleneck at the top of the hierarchy, where a small percentage of high-achieving men have a wealth of options, while a large cohort of men becomes effectively invisible to the women in their peer group. This imbalance leads to a cycle of frustration for both sides. High-performing women find themselves "used and discarded" by the elite tier of men who feel no pressure to settle down. Meanwhile, the men at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder retreat further into digital surrogates, feeling they cannot compete. This isn't just about money; it’s about the perception of formidability and competence. When women out-earn their partners, the risk of divorce increases, and men are significantly more likely to require erectile dysfunction medication, highlighting the deep-seated biological tension that arises when traditional status hierarchies are inverted. The Biological Interference of Birth Control and Endocrine Disruptors Beyond the social and technological, there is a chemical layer to this recession. The widespread use of hormonal birth control has fundamentally altered the signals that men and women send to one another. Ovulation is a peak period for female sexual psychology, influencing everything from scent to clothing choices. By halting this process, the pill effectively blunts these biological signals. Studies show that men can subconsciously detect when a woman is ovulating, responding with increased interest and mate-guarding. In a world where a significant portion of women are on the pill, these ancient mating dances are being disrupted. Furthermore, the environment is increasingly saturated with endocrine disruptors that affect testosterone levels. Debra Soh highlights research into pharmaceutical waste in water supplies and its effect on aquatic life—feminizing some fish while making others lethargic. Humans are not immune to these environmental factors. Declining sperm counts and plunging testosterone levels over the last 40 years suggest that our modern ecology is hostile to reproductive health. When combined with the high prescription rates of SSRIs, which are notorious for killing libido, the biological foundation of sex is being eroded from multiple angles. The Rise of Caricatured Beauty Standards In response to the difficulty of finding partners, both sexes are turning to extreme physical modifications. Looksmaxxing and plastic surgery are no longer just for the aging; they are being embraced by Gen Z as a way to compete in a saturated digital marketplace. We are seeing a "Fisherian runaway" effect, where men and women are pursuing caricatures of sexually dimorphic traits. Men are getting jawline fillers and limb-lengthening surgeries to appear more formidable, while women are getting "fox eye" lifts and breast augmentations as early as their 20s. Ironically, this pursuit of perfection often backfires. Many of these procedures, like buccal fat removal, can actually make young women look older or more gaunt, while men’s focus on formidability (what other men respect) often misses the mark of what women actually find attractive. Social media has created a "comparison trap" where looking at influencers makes men less interested in their real-life partners and women feel less sexually desirable. We have replaced the authentic, messy beauty of human connection with a sterile, curated, and often surgical ideal that leaves everyone feeling inadequate. The Inevitable Crisis of Involuntary Childlessness The end result of the sex recession is a demographic cliff. Chris Williamson and Dr. Debra Soh discuss the sobering reality of "involuntary childlessness." Four out of five women who end up without children did not intend to be childless; they simply ran out of time while waiting for a suitable partner or focusing on careers. The narrative that motherhood is a burden to be avoided has left many women facing a middle-age crisis where the "freedom" they were promised feels more like isolation. As fertility windows close, the reliance on IVF and egg freezing grows. However, these are often expensive and unreliable "band-aids" that do not address the root cause: the breakdown of the pairing process between men and women. The adversarial narratives pushed in popular culture, which frame masculinity as toxic and femininity as victimized, have made cooperation between the sexes feel like a minefield. To reverse this, we must move away from the screens, address the environmental and biological factors at play, and rediscover the value of real-world risk and vulnerability. Rebuilding Intimacy in a Digital World Reversing the sex recession requires an intentional return to human fundamentals. Soh suggests that the simplest solutions are often the most effective: putting phones away, meeting in real life, and cultivating receptivity. For women, this might mean making interest more obvious through simple cues like smiling. For men, it involves reclaiming a sense of purpose and formidability that isn't tied to a digital screen or a surgical procedure. We must also have the courage to challenge the "sex-positive" narratives that have actually led to more sexlessness. Promoting casual hookup culture and digital surrogates has not empowered us; it has left us lonelier. Growth happens when we step away from the sedating influence of technology and engage with the complexity of real human beings. By recognizing the inherent strength in vulnerability and the necessity of intentional connection, we can begin to mend the rift between the sexes and ensure a future where intimacy is more than just a digital simulation.