Alex Kersten

Turning a Crematorium Castoff Into a Presidential Cruiser It started with a cheap automotive gamble: buy a functional, road-worthy luxury machine for less than 1,500. While most logical buyers would hunt down a high-mileage German saloon, the crew at Auto Alex opted for something with a bit more structural presence. They walked away with a Ford Dorchester Limousine purchased for a mere 1,250. This stretched leviathan, typically reserved for solemn, low-speed duties at a crematorium, was powered by a robust 4.0-litre Barrett engine. A crude cone filter upgrade added some induction noise, but the real engineering layout remained delightfully retro. To make this massive barge ready for a grueling 500-mile road trip to Brussels, Belgium, some quick, aggressive adjustments were required. In the world of high-end motoring, legroom is the ultimate luxury metric. Alex Kersten took a direct approach to this by completely unbolting and discarding the entire middle row of rear-facing seats. This simple modification left an enormous cavern behind the front cockpit. The remaining budget stood at 250. This cash was reserved for a raid on European home improvement stores to elevate the rear passenger compartment to presidential standards. Surviving the Channel Crossing and Early Mechanical Warning Signs Piloting a vehicle of this length through modern traffic is a masterclass in spatial awareness. The crew pointed the Dorchester's long nose toward Folkestone to catch the Channel Tunnel. Before even reaching the coast, the mechanical realities of a cheap, neglected vehicle began to surface. During heavy stop-and-go traffic, the brake pedal went completely soft, sinking straight to the floorboard. Once the components cooled, the pedal pressure returned, but it was a clear warning that the brake fluid was boiling or the master cylinder was on its last legs. Navigating passport control presented its own physical challenges. The long wheelbase and wide turning circle made threading the tight, concrete security barriers of the terminal a high-stakes game. The car was so long it bypassed the standard security scanners entirely. The workers simply waived the massive vehicle through because it physically could not align with the detection bays. Once inside the Eurotunnel train, the Dorchester barely cleared the metal ramps, risking high-centering. To celebrate clearing the train's tight interior, the driver dropped the automatic gearbox into manual mode and did a brief, noisy top-speed blast down the length of the empty train carriage, claiming a highly unofficial tunnel land speed record of 25 miles per hour. Customizing the Dorchester Cabin on a Budget Upon rolling onto Belgian soil, the primary mission was to transform the barren rear cabin using the remaining 250. The crew stopped at a large home store, filling their cart with eclectic decorative items. Instead of traditional automotive luxuries, they focused on sensory upgrades. They purchased a heavy inflatable paddling pool to serve as a mobile foot spa, several fluffy sheepskin rugs, battery-powered chrome lamps, a small Buddha statue for spiritual balance, and a framed painting of a disappointed-looking woman to hang on the partition. Installing these items required some unorthodox packaging decisions. The inflatable pool was squeezed between the remaining rear bench and the front partition, molding itself awkwardly over the massive transmission tunnel. Once filled with cold water, the foot spa was operational. On the move, the rear cabin of the Dorchester resembled a mobile living room, complete with wet feet, burning incense, and questionable interior styling choices. Despite the absurdity, the relaxation factor of soaking one's feet in cold water while cruising down the Belgian motorway at 85 miles per hour was undeniable, showcasing the unexpected road manners of the big Ford chassis. High Drama and Wet Cushions in the Streets of Brussels As the limousine entered the tight, historic streets of Brussels, the relaxed atmosphere in the rear cabin quickly deteriorated. The city's aggressive traffic, combined with sudden stops and sharp turns, caused chaos in the unsecured rear compartment. The water from the inflatable foot spa began sloshing violently over the transmission tunnel, soaking the sheepskin rugs and the wooden floorboards. A full-blown interior war erupted when the crew began splashing each other with the foot spa water. In the struggle, a velvet throw pillow landed directly in the pool, soaking up liters of water like a massive sponge. The battery-powered lamps slid across the floor, and the Buddha statue lost its nose in the melee. To make matters worse, moisture from the splashing seeped into the open cigarette lighter socket, causing a small electrical short that filled the front cabin with acrid white smoke. By the time the vehicle parked near the Autoworld car museum, both passengers in the back were completely drenched, the interior was a swamp, and the driver had jokingly resigned in protest of his passenger's chaotic behavior. A Sanctuary of Speed at the Autoworld Car Museum Leaving the soggy Dorchester to air dry, the crew stepped into the dry, climate-controlled halls of the Autoworld museum in Brussels. The facility was hosting a specialized exhibition dedicated to the iconic performance cars of the 1990s. For a group of dedicated car enthusiasts, this was hallowed ground. The display featured legendary machines that defined a generation of automotive engineering, highlighting the era's focus on analog feedback and mechanical purity. Among the standouts was a rare 1995 Dodge Viper finished in black, sporting a massive V10 engine and basic canvas side curtains instead of real glass windows. The crew also admired a BMW 850CSi, an incredibly rare grand tourer featuring a 6.0-litre V12 engine, a factory six-speed manual gearbox, and active four-wheel steering. Another highlight was an original Renault Clio Williams, a homologation special that remains one of the most celebrated hot hatches of all time. Walking through the exhibition cemented their shared belief that the 1990s represented the absolute peak of automotive design, combining modern performance with tactile, mechanical driver connections. The Verdict on a Cheap stretched Cruiser Against all logical expectations, the cheap Ford Dorchester limousine completed its 500-mile journey back to the United Kingdom without a single major mechanical breakdown. Despite a terrifying early brake warning, a flooded interior, and some minor electrical smoke, the 4.0-litre engine ran flawlessly. The big car cruised comfortably at European highway speeds, returning an impressive average of 28 miles per gallon. This road trip proved that complex automotive adventures do not require a massive budget or a modern, computer-controlled vehicle. A cheap, old limousine, purchased for less than the cost of a basic laptop, can provide an unforgettable road trip experience. While the Dorchester's career as a luxury vehicle is likely over, its final run across Belgium was a spectacular demonstration of budget motoring resilience.