NYU

Facing the Silence of Shame Feeling lost often stems from a lack of vocabulary for our internal struggles. We find ourselves trapped in a cycle of shame, unable to articulate the heavy emotions weighing us down. We often rely on "fluff language" or muscle-memory responses like "I'm fine" to avoid the vulnerability of the truth. This social hiding creates a barrier between our actual experience and the world, leaving us disconnected and isolated. Breaking this cycle requires a radical permission to stop pretending and start naming the pain. The Power of Linguistic Disruption Language is not just a tool for communication; it is the framework for our reality. When we feel stuck, it is often because our internal linguistic patterns have become toxic or repetitive. Ocean Vuong suggests that disruptions in these patterns—the kind found in poetry and novels—allow us to step outside our limited self-conception. By changing the questions we ask ourselves, such as moving from "How am I doing?" to "When was the last time I felt joy?", we open a door to a different psychological space that shifts our perspective. Borrowing the Voice of Masters When your own internal voice is "running your life" with negativity, the most effective practice is to borrow someone else's. Copying down favorite poems or texts from writers like Toni Morrison or Mary Oliver offers a way to inhabit a different mind. This tactile act of journaling another's words bypasses our personal resistance. It uses the democratic nature of language to provide a temporary scaffold for our thoughts when we are too exhausted to build our own. A Mindset of Shared Humanity Shifting your mindset means realizing that your hunger for deep connection is a universal human experience. Others are often waiting for the same door to open, but they lack the words to initiate it. By embracing the "gift of experience" over a rigid checklist of self-improvement, you allow language to be a bridge rather than a shield. You aren't just adding a task to your routine; you are inviting a new way of being through the power of borrowed expression. Claiming Your Democratic Tool You hold the most powerful and democratic tool ever created: language. You do not need to be a genius or an award-winning poet to use it for your own healing. Simply by writing down the words that move you, you disrupt the toxic self-talk and reclaim your place in the human conversation. Use these borrowed words to find your way back to yourself.