Identity politics has transitioned from a fringe academic theory to a dominant institutional force, redefining concepts like 'whiteness' and 'anti-racism' to enforce ideological conformity. Satirist Andrew Doyle explores the internal contradictions of this movement, from the 'decolonization' of uninhabited planets to the fractures within the LGBTQ+ community, arguing that we are witnessing a fundamental clash between traditional liberalism and a new, soft authoritarianism. This piece examines why the capitulation of major corporations and schools may be the most significant threat to social cohesion and individual liberty.