Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field, defines self-compassion as having three core elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned and strengthened through intentional practice.
Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. It means recognizing that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so we can be gentle with ourselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals. Practicing self-compassion involves noticing when we're having a hard time, and rather than judging and criticizing ourselves, responding to our pain with care and kindness, just as we would a dear friend. Scientific studies have demonstrated that self-compassion offers a range of psychological benefits, including lower levels of anxiety, self-criticism, depression, and stress, and higher levels of life satisfaction, happiness, and emotional resilience.
Self-compassion is not self-pity, making excuses, self-confidence, or self-esteem. Self-compassion provides the safety needed to admit mistakes, rather than needing to blame someone else for them. Research shows that self-compassionate people take greater personal responsibility for their actions. Self-compassion provides a steady foundation of inner support and is always available to us.