Dr. Rahul Jandial explains why dead loved ones visit your dreams

During our waking hours, the brain operates under a strict hierarchy. The executive awake brain acts as a diligent corporate manager, prioritizing daily tasks, immediate stressors, and functional survival. When grief or emotional trauma strikes, this internal manager often suppresses heavy emotions to keep us functioning. We push down the pain of loss simply to get through the day.

But when we sleep, the executive oversight dissolves. The imagination network and the brain's emotional architecture seize control, providing an unfiltered space for unresolved trauma.

Processing Grief in the Absence of the CEO

When a loved one passes away, the brain must process a massive disruption in attachment. In an interview on The Mel Robbins Podcast, neuroscientist Dr. Rahul Jandial explained that dreaming of the deceased isn't random. Instead, it mirrors how we cope in real life.

If we refuse to feel grief during the day, the dreaming brain steps in. The emotional structures take over, forcing us to face the very attachment and loss we actively avoid when awake.

The Neurobiology of Dream Encounters

Dreams can feel startlingly real because of how our neurons fire. When you run, speak, or cry in a dream, the neural patterns in your brain mimic the exact firing sequences of those actions in real life.

This neurobiological reality bridges the gap between memory and presence. While the rational mind knows a loved one is gone, the sleeping brain experiences the connection as a genuine, living encounter. It is the closest possible state to being with them again.