The Steelman Strategy: Navigating Deep Disagreement with Intellectual Empathy

The Art of Intellectual Empathy

True growth happens when we step outside our own moral certainties to find the logic in an opposing worldview.

facilitates a rare exchange between author

Louise Perry

and adult performer

Bonnie Blue

, using a technique known as steelmanning. Instead of attacking a weak version of an opponent's argument, steelmanning requires building the strongest possible case for the other side. This practice demands high emotional intelligence and a willingness to see the humanity in those who challenge our fundamental values.

Costs of the Sexual Free Market

Perry argues that sexual liberation is not a cost-free venture. When the free market dictates human intimacy, the resulting externalities often fall on the most vulnerable. She points to the potential increase in sexual aggression and the commodification of the human body as systematic risks. By viewing

as a high-performing outlier in this industry, Perry suggests that her success masks the deeper psychological and social wreckage many others experience when attempting to follow the same path.

The Outlier Illusion

In personal development, we often fall for the survivorship bias. Williamson uses the analogy of "fake natties" in the fitness industry to describe this phenomenon. Just as an elite athlete might have unique genetics that allow them to endure extreme physical stress, Blue possesses a psychological resilience that is statistically rare. Treating her success as a standard roadmap for others creates a false sense of hope. This "hyper-responder" effect suggests that what feels like an easy ride for one person could be a source of profound trauma for another who lacks that specific internal architecture.

Bridging the Moral Divide

Effective communication doesn't require consensus; it requires acknowledgment. Blue expresses a desire for people to view participants in her industry as "genuinely lovely people" rather than caricatures. Even while Perry advocates for the criminalization of the industry, the two find common ground in the need for better education and regulation. Recognizing that no one fits perfectly into a box allows for a more nuanced understanding of habit formation and societal influence, moving us toward a future where we prioritize the well-being of the collective over the convenience of a simplified argument.