Richard Reeves warns feminism that demonizing men is a failing strategy

Richard Reeves argues that the feminism movement is reaching a critical crossroads. For decades, the advocacy for women’s rights has often positioned male struggle as secondary or even irrelevant. However, Reeves observes a shift among leadership. He highlights a growing realization that dismissing the challenges facing boys and men eventually erodes the social fabric that supports everyone. While some leaders couch their concern in "tactical" terms—suggesting that helping men is merely a prerequisite for helping women—Reeves advocates for a radical shift toward unconditional empathy. We must care about men because their flourishing is a moral end in itself.

Politics and the polarization of dating

Modern mating has become a casualty of the culture wars. Chris Williamson notes that young men and women are being fed divergent, antagonistic narratives. The left often tells women that their hardships are the direct result of a patriarchal male collective, while the right tells men that "woke feminism" is the architect of their displacement. This political polarization transforms the dating pool into a minefield of resentment. When we encourage genders to blame each other for systemic issues, we destroy the relational skills—like handling rejection or building intimacy—necessary for long-term stability.

Rethinking the mate value marketplace

The conversation surrounding "mate value" often relies on cold, algorithmic logic. Reeves and Williamson critique this marketplace view, noting it focuses almost exclusively on short-term mating. While evolutionary psychology suggests certain universal preferences, the reality of long-term partnership is far more plastic. Over time, revealed preferences—kindness, emotional regulation, and shared history—flatten the initial disparities in perceived value. A "ten" can become a "three" through poor character, and vice versa. True partnership is less about the person you choose and more about the person you become through the commitment.

Conclusion

Bridging the gender gap requires moving past zero-sum empathy. Recognizing that men are falling behind in education and social connection isn't a betrayal of women’s progress; it is a necessity for a healthy, functioning society. The future of gender relations depends on our ability to value human flourishing without conditions.